Feeling Funny

So I am having a dilemma. At the beginning of the day I was sticking strict to my semi fast. But I was still sore from working out yesterday and was heading to work out again. At this time I had only had 600 calories all day. And I started feeling bad because I was physically tired and felt a little sick from lack of food. I felt like I was punishing my body for no reason. I felt like I was working out too much to be eating so little. But at the same time I want to be just a little thinner. I am thinner now with nice lean muscle and I feel great. But I don't want to stop and lose my progress.

So anyway afterwards I hung out with friends and let loose and ate two slices of pizza, some soda and ice cream. And then I felt bad for stuffing my face...I ate a normal amount of calories but I hate how its not 1000 or under. I am tempted to go work out right now (its kinda late) but my body is so sore. I feel like I have been working out a lot but it never seems enough. And I think I did ok...not as good as I wanted. And tomorrow is friday which I have designated my cheat day meaning absolutely no counting or not eating. I get to eat whatever I want and not feel guilty or bad about it. I feel that I will be watching what I eat and be away from friends this weekend so today and tomorrow won't matter. But I am still having mixed feelings about today...at times I feel like I am not eating enough and that my body is in unnecessary pain, but then at other times I wish I hadn't just eaten that pizza. What does reassure me however is when I look into the mirror...I like what I see.

Food today:

apple 80
three orange slices 30
egg white omelet spinach cheese 125
pear slices -40
water
granola bar -110
slice of bread with tuna 150
cookie dough - 140

After workout and feeling bad about not eating

two slices of pizza - 670
icecream - no clue
soda - 120


Total: 1465 not including icecream...so maybe real total is around 1700-1800
I did workout today maybe 100-200 calories. I like to round low.


9 comments:

the taller, prettier one said...

since you've already lost so much weight, and you only want to drop a couple more pounds, it would probably be ok to resume a semi-normal diet (1500 cals). you'll still lose weight of course, just not as quickly. and it will prevent your body from really going into starvation mode and holding onto EVERYthing that you eat. if you carry on too long eating fewer than 1000 calories, your body will start gaining weight at a smaller amount.

you shouldn't have to hurt your body/be tired/exhausted in order to lose more weight. have you tried eating around 1700 cals before? you probably won't even gain weight from that.
anyway, take care :)

Ana's Girl said...

I always feel the same way. Like i almost want to be healthy and not push my body too far on too little food, and yet at the same time, pushing my body too far on too little food seems like success and eating anything feels like failure.

Stay strong, hunny. You didn't do badly at all.

Yum said...

Happens to all of us! We get in some moods where ana is great, and then sometimes we suddly go, "What am I doing to myself?!" It goes back and forth.

There's nothing wrong with being healthy! If you're sick of ana, then definately kick her to the curb, ha.

(Keep in mind that 1800 is still less than some people eat!)

Lily said...

That is one dilemna everybody had or will have sometimes...When I feel like that I usually go to my blog and write about it or I stay in my room and I try to think about the reasons why I'm doing that. I usually come up with some good arguments that are taking over the bad thoughts.

Keep strong, you can do this and you will go through that funny feeling.

Savory Sweet said...

Take care of yourself hun! There's no point to push yourself, listen to your body even when your mind is screaming at you :) Easier said than done right?

CA said...

Nic, where are you!

Fleur said...

Yeah nic... where are you? i miss you...

Mad Bird said...

Have you seen Dandelion Girl's (glitter in the wind) idea for December? You should check it out. Lovely idea, I think.

http://glitterinthewind.blogspot.com/2009/12/reply-for-present-and-support-thinnies.html

Kate Lunacy. said...

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