Currently Careless

So I am just going to do a quick intro about myself. I'm in college and mostly on my own. I am currently visiting the family for the week so I dare not try to diet while here. I've never really had an ED but I have become noticiably skinnier in the past couple of years...not much in my opinion but my mom comments on it all the time. I think I am average she feels I am skinny and comments on it all the time. So I don't bother to watch what I eat around her. She isn't overbearing or anything I just don't want her to think I have any sort of problem because frankly I don't. I love food, I just hate overeating. Oh and I ramble a lot so sorry ;).

My goal for this summer and next year is to hit my goal weight of 120. I ultimately want to maintain a weight between 115 and 120. I think that is the perfect weight for my body and I plan on reaching through healthy and limited eating and exercise. I am a lazy person to be honest and hate exercise but once school starts I plan on hitting the gym everyday. I never count calories and don't plan to but I will post all my meals on here just to stay on track. When I say limited I mean it, one meal a day and many snacks and a lot of exercising

I won't really start dieting until I go back to school. I live on campus all year round even during the summer since I work for the school and get free summer housing. I lurked these blogs for a while and even made one then deleted it...I don't know why. But then I realized I need my own little secret place to just release everything I hold back...

I've been having nightmares recently and I think its a result from my nasty habit of being so secretive and bottled up. I have many friends but at the end of the day I doubt they truly know me. My nightmares consist of my teeth falling out. It sounds foolish but these dreams are sometimes traumatic and painful. Sometimes I don't know I'm dreaming and other times I know I am but can't wake up despite my pleeing. I've had them too frequently to ignore them now. So i feel this blog will help with that. They say when you have a dream that your teeth are falling out, its a sign of vanity and insecurity or a sign that you have a secret. Ironic really. Its probably a mixture of both. I have much more to say but I will end this blog with this:


pokerface said...

Hey thanks for the comment on my blog :) I just read yours posts and I feel for you about the nightmares. I have awful ones worthy of horror movies and I don't get it at all... I HATE those films lol. Glad you're ready to start sharing your thoughts on a blog again. Don't worry about rambling either, we're all pretty guilty of it... haha. good luck :)

Vortex said...

I've had that teeth-falling-out dream several times... Sometimes it hurts, sometimes I bleed, sometimes I'm on my way to the doctor and I get lost. But I'm used to nightmares so I don't care much about it. I think it's a common thing.

Vortex said...

Thanks =)
My short term goal is 110 (I'm not what you'd call a tall person). And then I really don't know. It'll all depend on how I feel at 110.
I intend to keep on blogging, but maybe at some point the voice of reality will reach me and I'll realise how stupid this is. But probably not, lol.

All about Lily said...

I'd say my celebrity crush is Jared Leto since I saw him on "My so called life"!!!

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